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'To add Ozil's assists and Sanchez' goals to my game would be ideal'

This feature appears in the current edition of Sport magazine. Download the free iPad app from the Apple Newsstand, and follow on twitter @sportmaguk “Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines.” In one of the more surreal episodes of Sport’s career, we’re reciting the lyrics of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song to Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. “Not him,” says the Arsenal star as we put our wasted youth to good use with word perfect recall of the cartoon classic. “Not Rafael. Not Leonardo. I’d be Michelangelo.” We’re asking which turtle the ‘The Ox’ would be because he reckons he bears an uncanny resemblance to one of them – something he poked fun at in a video...
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